Beyond School

So, graduation is looming...well, if a year away is looming. Regardless, my obsessively plotting mind has focused on this distant event for so long, to plan out how I will reach it with plans in ever motion and being refined in the last year. Then as my uneasiness ebbs from trying to swallow just how difficult the plan truly is, I realize that I must have a plan beyond school. I've been attending college for over a decade. What will I be when I am no longer a student and working my way through school? Well, now that is partially answered. I will be an HR professional, with letters and everything. *snicker*

But really... I am finally comfortable with the answer "an artist". That word has meant many fleeting and shallow things over the years to me. It is now, now that I have explored others and myself that I can say an Artist. So, ok, then what?

Well, there is exploring more of myself. There is trying new things. Doing the things I have been too busy to do. There is a marathon or at least running. I tasted the peace and exhileration of running more than a year ago when I did at least try to keep up a physical regimine. Now that I'm fat and out of shape, running has a more obvious appeal. But truly it is the pushing of my limits that gives me great joy in the surprise of me. It creates a unique chance to stand apart and say "wow, you can actually do that." Without it being a question.

Then there is the goal of learning to sing; to express what I cannot say in words alone. But what voice will I find with a soul singing Janis Joplin and vocal cords that emulate Jewel? We shall see...we shall see...